About a year ago, we bought two fish for the kiddos.Like all low rent fish who are not cared for by people who have a certain yen for the care of creatures that dwell in aquariums, they eventually died.The first to succumb was Diva’s fish, who she named Hannahbelle.I noticed the lady Hannahbelle floating belly up in the little tank late in the evening, and alerted UberGeek to our plight.Then I grabbed the little green handled scoop and “fished” her out.We gave the fish an unceremonial flushing and bid her farewell while she circled the drain. I told UberGeek I would talk to Diva in the morning about the demise of her fish; that’s not his thing.
In the morning, as I was showering, a terrible thing happened; Diva woke up and noticed the fish was gone.She approached UberGeek, and he panicked. UberGeek said the first thing that came to his mind, “Hannahbelle went on vacation!She wanted to see the world like Nemo.”UberGeek was thinking to himself that he would replace the ill fated Hannahbelle with a similar fish and save his daughter the heartache.She would never know the difference, right?
Time went by as it does, grocery lists lengthened, laundry loads hummed, until finally over a year had passed.The lovely Hannahbelle, despite all the good intentions, was never replaced.Recently, we were out shopping at Wally World picking up some necessities when the kids begged to pass by the pet supplies area.As we walked past the tanks Diva began to sniffle, “I miss Hannahbelle, she went on vacation a long, long time ago and she never came back. Daddy, where is Hannahbelle?”
Eddie turned to look at his sister with a very serious look on his face, “Diva, that fish is dead and it’s never coming back!Fish don’t go on vacation.”
Friday night the coffee machine was in my bathroom with the rice cooker full of oatmeal, both set to come on at 415 AM; my running clothes were set out in the closet. All this was in anticipation of my last long training run before the National Marathon to Fight Breast Cancer, the 26.2 with Donna. This is the third year I've been involved with this marathon so you think I'd be used to long runs. Still, earlier in the week my running pal, 1.0, and I began the bargaining, "what if we only ran 22 on Saturday, we'd still be prepared." When I woke up yesterday morning I thought, "If 1.0 sleeps in, maybe I will just not make it to this run, maybe the half marathon will be enough for me this year." I know that's crazy since I've made it to this point, but there's a lot you can say to yourself at 4AM when the alarm goes off.
1.0 made it to my house and we grumbled, groaned, ate our oatmeal out of styrofoam cups and headed out toward the run. I sipped on my coffee, more as a crutch than anything since I don't actually drink much of it before a long run. We chatted and slowly I began to wake up.
We got out to the Baldwin Rail Trail and our group, Forward Motion, started out on the trail along with all the other Galloway Training Groups. It was dark but the conversation picked up quickly. We are a small group of mostly women and one brave man. Water stops every two miles and a bathroom break at mile six made the first 13 miles go by really quickly, then we turned around to head back. Our group leaders as well as several group members had run the Disney marathon the weekend before. Some group members who had just ran the marathon cut the distance short a bit, understandably. Our group leaders followed us on a bike, running half the distance then switching to the single bike they shared; it meant a lot to me to have them out there with us.
Truthfully, this was one of my favorite long distance runs ever, the weather was perfect, the company was good, and I was not injured or feeling unwell. The last five miles or so the group told embarassing or entertaining stories about our lives to pass the time and the miles rolled on by. I won't say it was easy, because no 26 mile run is a cakewalk but it was definitely one of the better ones. Whenever I have a tough time running I think of the breast cancer survivors who train with us, and I say to myself, if they can do it so can I. I run because there have been times when I have not been able to, and there are so many people who aren't able to now, and there will be times in the future when I will not be able to again, but for now, I run.
As we approached the finish line for the run we noticed an arch of pink balloons and the running ribbon that is the symbol for the marathon. It just filled my heart with joy and gave me that last push to run in together with my group members. We took some group pictures, said goodbye to friends, pulled on clean shirts and headed out to share a celebratory cheeseburger.
When I got home, I said hello to everyone then headed for the tub and the ice bath that hurts so good. I hate the ice bath, but it really saves my knees and muscles from feeling sore the day after a long run. I eased into a tub full of cool water, wrapped in a polar fleece with a toboggan on my head. UberGeek slowly added ice to the water until it was frigid and I couldn't feel my limbs. When I couldn't take it anymore, I got out and took the best hot shower ever. As I was drying off I noticed that the bathroom was clean, really clean. I threw on some clothes and looked around the rest of the house and the whole thing was spotless. UberGeek and I put the kids in their rooms for quiet time and it was time for a nap.
The kiddos go to a little yellow school not too far from our house. Each Tuesday, we do our best to remember their chapel money. This is when we scrounge around our pockets, wallets, bureau tops and desks for various silver money to send to school with them as an offering. Vaguely, I remember that it goes to some sort of charitable endeavor, but mostly it's another thing to cross of the list on Tuesday mornings.
Last week, as you all know, a terrible earthquake struck Haiti and UberGeek and I struggled with what we would tell the kids about it. We explained that an earthquake had happened to a country not too far from us in Florida, called Haiti, and that many people now did not have a home or food. Imagine our surprise when Diva and Eddie looked at us like we were the dumbest people they had ever seen. "Mama, we know where Haiti is; that's where our chapel money goes. The kids there don't have enough to eat and we send all our chapel money for food and clothes and stuff they need." Um, duh.
Eddie seemed to really reflect on the news of the earthquake, he looked at me and said, "Mama, so now they don't have any house to go to? No food? No toys?" It was so hard to tell him the truth and yet so important.
We told Diva and Eddie that our family would be sending some money to Haiti to help the people there. Since the kiddos have change jars stuffed with their allowance, and their money is divided into save/spend/give, I reminded them that if they wanted to we could go ahead and count out their funds. They could choose any charity they wanted for their gift, including Haiti. Both decided that was a good idea.
UberGeek proceeded to count out all of their dough. They each came out to close to $30 so he rounded them both up to $30. Then, he did his best to explain the percentages for save/spend/give. Typically it is 60 save 20 give 20 spend. UberGeek wanted them to really understand breaking up their money this time and they weren't getting it. So, he gave them each 10 quarters.
He asked Eddie, if he had ten quarters how many of those he would keep and how many he would donate. Eddie pushed forward six quarters. "Great," said UberGeek, "you will keep six and give four to Haiti?" "No!" Eddie said, "I will give six to Haiti and keep four, Daddy, they don't have any food!" UberGeek complimented him on his generosity and moved on to Diva. Diva looked at the shiny silver money and pushed forward two quarters. "Diva!" said UberGeek, "that's very generous, you want to give eight quarters to Haiti and only keep two?" "No, Daddy, don't be silly" she said, "two for Haiti and the rest are for me." UberGeek struggled to keep from laughing then looked at her seriously and reminded Diva that the people in Haiti didn't have anything to eat, or houses to live in. She gave him a dirty look and pushed forward two more quarters.
Just the other afternoon UberGeek came wandering toward me where I was working in the office, as he approached I noted a definite twinkle in his eye. "Kristie, do you know what Eddie just told me?" he asked. I didn't. "He said that one day I am going to be watching him on the television!" So you might be wondering, is that because my bright and beautiful boy is aspiring to a career in public service, or journalism perhaps? No, of course not, Eddie is referring to football! The kids don't watch much TV but during football season it's a television marathon each weekend. My son, at five years old, knows many teams by the color of their uniform, calls out plays to UberGeek when he is in another room and is just generally football crazed. UberGeek has tried to involve Diva similarly, but she generally insists on doing dance moves across the living room during the games. Still, both Diva and Eddie are probably more educated in the ways of football than I am.
When UberGeek thinks of his son playing football he dreams of the two of them tossing around the ol' pigskin in the yard, discussing strategies and watching instant replays together. When I think of my son playing football there are three things that occur to me, spinal cord injury, brain injury (a concussion counts as a brain injury), and disability. "Kristie, he won't be a defensive back, he's not built for it, those are the guys who get spinal cord injuries, they take the hits." Uh, hem, he is five years old, he's not built for anything really in my mind. I do understand that having a child who shares his passion for football is a dream come true, I just wish the dream would remain on the couch or the living room floor with a Nerf ball.
If you're anything like me, managing your children's behavior is an ebb and flow type of thing. You are on top of your game one day and a sorry loser the next. There are days I feel like I really know my stuff, mother of the year material, yeah, that's me. Other days my children reduce me to a hollering, driveling meanie who is reaching for the cheap chardonnay the minute they have gone to bed. I know what I need to do, what I am supposed to do, what the right thing to do is, I hear myself sounding like a broken record, it's just sometimes I am too tired to do the right thing, affirm the positive, be firm, get on their level, send them to timeout. Sometimes it's just easier to yell at them from the kitchen or my pile of laundry or whatever chore I am doing than it is to stop what I am doing, walk over to wherever they are wreaking havoc, and properly and positively discipline them. Instead, yelling, "DIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVAAAAAAAAAA, EEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, whatever you are doing STOOOOOOOPPPPPPP it, and stop bothering each other or I am going to come in there and you will be SSSOOOOORRRRRRYYYYYYY."
When UberGeek and I are on our game one of the things we keep up with is a behavior chart for each of the kiddos. My mother inspects it when she visits to make sure the items on it are phrased positively. So instead of writing, "No beat downs on your sibling." My mother might phrase it, "Use hands for loving." Where you might write, "No talking back" my mom would phrase it, "Speak to adults in a positive and respectful way." She's really good at that having worked in the school system for many years. It takes some getting used to but it does send a more positive message.
I thought I would share our simple behavior chart with you. It's Excel based and you can change the font colors, text colors and picture for any holiday or character your child likes. Happy holidays from me to you!
Tonight Eddie Haskell walked past Ubergeek who was standing by the bar in the kitchen checking his fantasy football scores and casually asked, "Daddy, what's a hypothesis?" "What did you say Eddie?" UberGeek replied, making Eddie repeat himself, thinking he had heard something wrong. Eddie Haskell asked about the hypothesis again. UberGeek peered at me, and I looked open mouthed at Eddie. Then I told Eddie it was an idea you thought you had the answer for already but needed to prove. Eddie looked back at me as if to say, "Yeah, I thought you people were not too bright, but this proves it; that makes no sense at all." I told him that I would find a better way to explain it then I went straight to Google.
Thankfully, PBS and their helpful website, anticipates 3-6 year olds asking this question, apparently their viewers spawn a lot of future Mensa members. I really want to know what happened to five year olds asking whether they can eat the kind of paste that comes out of a jar, is applied with a stick and smells good enough to eat?? Isn't that the kind of question we should be supplying answers to at this age? I like my kids being smart but sometimes I anticipate that they will be laughing at their poor dim witted mother by the time they enter high school. I don't think I was asking what a hypothesis was at the age of 5; I am going to call my mom tomorrow and ask, seriously. I could read but that was because I was raised by two bookworms and it really was self preservation.
PBS suggested that we explain the concept by letting the kids mix two different types of food coloring, guessing the outcome and then writing it down. Thus explaining their guess as the hypothesis and the mixed color as the result. We are always up for a learning challenge and it would kill 15 minutes after bath time so we got out the food color and some clear glasses. We tried a better explanation, that a hypothesis was a guess you could test and that we were going to test some.
I never would have imagined that two five year olds would so easily grasp hypotheses but they did. We proved and disproved several and they enjoyed figuring out which mixtures turned into the colors they predicted/hypothesized. Still, I was glad that after we finished they were back to kicking a blow up beach ball around the house, a decidedly less intellectual pursuit.
Kids will love these quick little personal tacos with no crunchy shell mess. They make great man food for Sunday football too. We like to have a veggie tray first then just these for the main course.
Recipe:
Cook a pound of ground beef and drain. Optionally you can add 1/4 c. chopped onion and a tablespoon or two of tomato paste or sauce. Add a package of taco seasoning mix and follow the directions on the package.
Open a 10 count can of Layered Buttermilk Biscuits (I used Publix Hearty Buttermilk Biscuits). Press each biscuit into the bottom and up the sides of a muffin cup. If you are using two 6 count muffin pans fill the two empty cups with a couple tbs. of water. Spoon the ground beef taco mixture into the biscuit cups. Sprinkle each cup with a little Mexican Blend cheese.
Bake in 400 degree oven for 11-12 minutes or until biscuits are golden brown. Cool slightly and remove taco cups from muffin pan. Serve with salsa and sour cream if desired.
Variations: fill with barbecue beef or sloppy joe filling.
Tonight was relaxing, I took an OAMC meal out of the frig and put it on to cook, then asked Diva to help me make some pumpkin bread. She was game! It's wonderful to make the house smell all spicy when there is a nip of cool fall weather in the air.
Pumpkin Bread with Cream Cheese Frosting
Pumpkin Bread
1 can pumpkin (15 oz) 3 c. sugar 1 c. water 1 c. Canola oil 4 eggs 3 1/3 c. flour 2 tsp cinnamon 1/2 tsp cloves 1/2 tsp nutmeg 1 tsp salt 2 tsp baking soda 1 tsp baking powder
We had a great Halloween weekend! Friday night I realized at 7:30 PM that we could not find my usual costume (Dorothy from the Wiz of O) I wear year after year. The giant plastic bin that contains it could not be located in the attic or the chaos of our garage. So, at 8:25 I headed out to the costume store, over it, but determined to find something. It was a madhouse and finally I had a choice of two costumes, Strawberry Shortcake or Cinderella. I chose Cinderella. I figured Diva would like it, I could potentially run in it for the Princess marathon in March so it would get at least three wears. Home I went 25 minutes later.
4:50AM came early and I pattered into the closet to get dressed for the costume run. I put on my Cinderella outfit and was out the door to pick up my friend on the way. We were two princesses in the night, ready to run. We got in a fun six miles and it was hysterical seeing everyone running along in costume. We are all training for the Breast Cancer Marathon and many of us are great friends. The worst part of the run was the stench from The Landing which emitted a dank armpit odor leftover from a night of Florida Georgia game revelers debauchery. Mouth breathing was essential on that stretch of the route. I did discover that there is no way I can wear that costume in the Princess Half Marathon, the polyester is just too hot. It will have to be a custom costume again this year. After a quick coffee post run it was time to shower and make cupcakes!
10:30 Jacksonville Parents of Twins and Triplets had our annual Halloween party at a local park. Nothing like loads of twins and triplets all dressed up in costumes and ready to play, eat, cry, laugh, whine, and enjoy themselves. Everyone seemed to have a great time! 12:30 and we were so ready for a nap, or at least I was.
Everyone took a long rest, except for Diva who was too excited, then it was time for a quick dinner. We put on our costumes and walked over to a school friend of Diva and Eddie Haskell's to trick or treat with her family. She was a perfectly precious Alice in Wonderland, Diva was Tinkerbell for the third year and Eddie went as Captain Hook, Arrrrrr! Disney really has the marketing going on and they got plenty of our money this year. The kids had a great time; their bags were heavy with candy as we visited with neighbors known to our friends and later to us on streets closer to our house. After many doors were knocked on, Eddie couldn't take it any longer, he was worn out. He wanted to go home and pass out candy, we hurried home, hoping one or two trick or treaters would come to our door while he was still awake. Luckily, he was able to pass out a couple candy bars and he was fulfilled.
We spread the loot out on the kitchen table and allowed each kiddo to pick whatever they wanted after getting rid of any yucky stuff. Diva chose a Kit Kat and Eddie Sweet Tarts, they devoured them happily.Up late and eating candy, what could be better? Then we had them brush teeth carefully and tucked them in before we raided their candy stash for ourselves, all the while discussing how we were going to make all the candy disappear, without the kids noticing, over the next couple of days. Any suggestions??
About a year ago I was parked at a shopping center where I had run in to pick up invitations for our annual holiday party. I was sitting there, sifting through the invites, thinking about what a great job I'd done picking them out, with a coupon no less. Then, I saw it, like an advertisement from a really great campaign, in slow motion, with music. There was a man, not just any man, a handsome, perfectly groomed, metrosexual man getting out of a perfectly clean, detailed, gorgeous, new looking Mercedes. Every piece of his clothing was in place, no straggly hems, scuffs or tears to be seen, in his hand was a shiny iPhone. He eased out of the shiny car, without effort, and walked toward a trendy shop nearby. He was like a magazine advertisement come to life just feet from me.
My first thought, honestly, was, "If we met in one of these nearby bars and I was sitting near him I wonder if Mercedes Man would take me home." By take me home I don't mean give me a ride home because I was having a medical emergency and needed a charitable favor, I'm talking about the other sinful kind of take me home, uh huh, now you're with me. Sort of an odd thought considering I am A. happily married and B. have never been taken home by anyone in a casual sort of way in my life. I looked down at myself in my petrified chicken nugget strewn minivan that looked like an explosion of Barney's playhouse. I noticed my yoga pants and stretchy top. My yoga pants were not the sexy Lululemon top of the line type, but the Target clearance rack specials, paired with a blue tank top I had had for years. I sighed, disgusted with myself for even thinking about Mercedes Man in the first place, then I called some life lines.
The first friend I called listened to me recount my story, didn't even laugh and told me she experienced this kind of thing all the time. Although in addition to fantasizing about men with clean and tidy cars she also thought about the hotels with clean and tidy sheets they would take her to and the room service they would order. "Really, it's the clean car, room service and hotel I'm attracted to." she admitted. Then she laughed with me for being so ashamed.
With the next friend I called, I had a serious discussion about Mercedes Man, what my thoughts meant about me, my marriage and my satisfaction with my life. We talked about how hard it was to always be dirty, to have a filthy minivan full of crumbs and papers all the time. No time for makeup or hair, muffin tops spilling over our jeans, tankinis instead of bikinis, undergarments that suddenly were all beige and sensible. We talked about how our lives were so changed and unrecognizable. Mercedes Man, I knew, wasn't about an affair at all, it was about my sense of loss of myself. Who was I? Certainly a mom, but what about the person who fell in love with my husband, who himself was once a man terrified of minivans and meticulous about car care? How to reconcile the two? I knew the next step to take, but it would be the scariest.
I went home, put away the invites and waited for UberGeek to arrive. We did our evening family stuff, then put the kids to bed. Then I told him I had to tell him something; I told him everything. I told him about Mercedes Man, about my feelings of inadequacy and unattractiveness. How tired I was of trashy cars and a body I didn't always recognize as my own. Then I did some crying, Mercedes Man, you see, had nothing to do with UberGeek, and everything to do with me. I had been blessed with all that I had ever wanted, a wonderful husband, two kids, a great home, but I was struggling to reconcile that with the few comparatively small things that I had lost.
We figured it out that night, the two of us, together, and that's what makes our marriage.
