The last time I did the South Beach Diet was over five years ago. I tipped the scales at a hefty 118 which for me at the time was totally unacceptable. So, a friend and I decided to try the diet and drop a few pounds quickly. Of course I forced UberGeek to go along with me. I quickly dropped nine pounds following the diet relatively strictly and going to the gym five days a week. UberGeek dropped 20, cheating all the way. Mission accomplished.
Fast forward five years, after a vacation during which UberGeek and I stuffed ourselves with fried Grouper sandwiches, frozen rum runners and all manner of other delicacies I tipped the scales at 125. I don't normally weigh myself but tight jeans necessitate a reality check. 125 is a weight I don't think I have ever been at except during and six months after pregnancy. I know that to most people that doesn't sound heavy but at just under 5'2" it's actually pushing toward an unhealthy BMI. With a family history of heart disease I prefer to keep things on the safe side. So, I decided I would do South Beach again and drop it off in a couple weeks.
Ummm, yeah, except I'm not 29 anymore, I'm 35 and apparently you don't just drop 10 lb as easily. I have been just as strict (only very occasional cheating) and have been working out and still the needle on the scale has moved just four depressing pounds in almost two weeks. I am sick of eating salads, cauliflower fake mashed potatoes and stir fry vegetables I tell you. I want my brown rice and whole grain pasta, fruit, bread, CARBS! So, because I have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis which results in weight gain sometimes and also occasionally in me being more tired than usual I decided in my mind that surely this was the issue, perhaps a change in my medication was necessary. A flare up of thyroid disease causing my thighs to stand their ample ground. I called Mayo to make an appointment with my primary care physician.
Walking into his office I waited for just a couple minutes before Dr. M arrived. We have a good relationship, he's UberGeek's physician too and has been for many years. The first time we met I was 25, in grad school and newly married to UberGeek. I tagged along on a visit so I could meet Dr. M who, at the time, was also the physician head of IT where UberGeek worked. I demanded a promise that UberGeek would live to be 100 and received instructions in return to force UberGeek to stop eating fries and drinking soda. It was a deal, with a HIPAA release on file for each other we are both able to tattle freely to Dr. M. "He is still eating the fries, Dr. M, and he hasn't run in two months" I will report. I don't know that Dr. M ever says anything specifically to UberGeek but just the fact that I've tattled causes the running shoes to appear at the front door once more.
Dr. M. has watched our relationship mature from young marrieds, to harried parents, he saw my ghastly postpartum state (mental and physical), he requests pictures of our twins and occasionally gets a visit from them. So when he comes in there is usually some brief small talk. The door opens and I tell him what I am there for, "I cannot seem to drop more than three or four pounds" I tell him, "I am wondering if my thyroid is acting up." "If it's not that, then I am worried that it is just because I am getting old" I joke. "I am tired of eating salads and nuts and the needle on the scale staying put." Yes, he says, that is what I am always telling my 60 year old patients, things slow down and you just can't eat as much as you used to as you age. I don't put quotes around that statement because he might not have worded it exactly like that, but that was the gist of it. At that moment I thought, oh my God, I will get to eat less and less every day until I die if I want to stay thin. This really sucks. I said a prayer (silently) that my thyroid was really messed up. Dr. M sent me for labwork down the hall just after my appointment.
Thursday the nurse called to give me the results, "Your thyroid results are normal" she said in a cheerful voice. Diagnosis=old.
