Social Gracious

A Visit to a Florida Cattle Farm

 
Cracker the Cow

We received an amazing invitation a few weeks ago, to Disney World you ask?  All expense paid trip to Costa Rica sans children?  No, sillies, to a friend's family cattle farm just a couple hours away in rural Mount Dora, Florida.

Three families met up early on Saturday morning at a nearby shopping center to caffeinate, pick up supplies at Publix, and caravan to Mount Dora.  Although it's only a couple hours drive, it might as well be a world away.  We turned down a long, sandy dirt lane, hoping the minivan wouldn't bottom out and require us to be towed.  Thankfully, we made it to the farm at the end of the lane.  

Children and adults struggled from the confines of minivans and SUVs and headed straight for shade trees, lounge chairs and picnic tables.  The kids were happy to be running around in the grass and dirt without the constant supervision required in suburbia.  There was even a little one room building with a bed and table inside that the kids called a play house, although it was really a full size guest room separate from the main house.  They got to feed two resident horses a carrot which didn't seem to compare to being able to run around free and relatively unsupervised.

At lunchtime, we shared a picnic feast, and got ready for the main attraction, the cows.  My friend 1.0's mother in law occasionally raises calves by hand, bottle feeding them if they have problems eating from their mother.  The result is a whole lot of cows who grow up really happy to see her.  She has an entire baby picture album of cows she has raised.  The photos show cows lazing about on front steps, eating from bottles and just generally seeming like domestic pets.  They even know her vehicle, a Jeep Cherokee, which we got to take a tour in.  

The "Cow Tour" consisted of 4 adults and 4 kids piling into the Cherokee, old school style.  Kids were sitting on laps, standing and wedged in every which way.  Mind you, we were never actually on a road but driving around the farm, very slowly looking at cows.  The kiddos looked at me wild eyed in amazement, having never been in a moving vehicle without a seatbelt or carseat.  As we drove around the farm, cows approached the Cherokee.   The favorite cows, typically those who had been raised as pets, came running toward us at a pretty quick pace.  We had a bucket of cow treats with us to sweeten the pot; we dared all of the kids to taste one, but none would.  

Once the cows approached the Cherokee and saw we had treats, it was all over.  I personally loved feeding them; I put my hand out and a cow would stretch her big head toward me, sandpapery tongue out, and lick up a pellet.  The only downer was the slobber, cows really slobber a lot.  Thankfully 1.0 was prepared with lots of paper towels; you could tell she's done this a few times before.  Most of the kids tried at least once to feed a cow, and one or two got a little overwhelmed by the giant heads stuck in the window, deciding they would just watch.

The day went by really quickly and before we knew it, it was 4 in the afternoon.  Time to pack it in and head back home to suburban life.  Two cranky, whiny, "are we there yet?" hours later we arrived.  I have to say I miss the shady trees, the fresh air and especially the cows.  I am also extra grateful for the good people in my life who make everyday wonders, like feeding a cow from the window of a Jeep Cherokee, possible.

HO-MADE BBQ Sauce

Tonight I headed to the grocery store to pick up an onion and a bell pepper to make some baked beans for tomorrow's trip to the farm.  I also needed some barbecue sauce for the recipe and as I peroused the many sauces available I came across this, Pat's HO-MADE brand BBQ Sauce.  'Nough said!  Really, need I say more?  I absolutely had to buy it.  I see it is made by a canning company in Florida; I have a strong desire to write them and ask if their company supports a community rehabilitation program of some sort.  Sometimes it really is the small things that make me happy.  I brought it home like a bright, shiny trophy for UberGeek, "Look, it's HO-made!"

A Late Night Call About Papa

The phone rang at just before 11 one night this week; it was my sister.  We have reached the age where phone calls after ten are usually not good.  My sister asked me if I was awake, then she asked if UberGeek was nearby, then she asked if I was sure I was awake; I'm almost never asleep before 11PM.  I wanted her to spit it out but didn't want to be rude and interrupt, I knew what was coming in a sort of awful way.

My mom had called her; my Papa had a major brain bleed, they thought this was going to be the end.  Papa also suffers from leukemia, diabetes, and has had several prior strokes over the last few years.  Still, until the last six months he was very sharp and had been doing quite well.  Over the last day or so my Papa has been made comfortable and he is headed home with palliative care.  I am thankful he will not have to spend the rest of his time in a hospital.

UberGeek and I had been alternating making the trip up to Virginia to visit every so many weeks.  We both noticed a decline in Papa's level of functioning since Christmas.  He used to look forward to my cooking and always took an interest in going outside on the porch.  During my last visit, he slept most of the time and I could not get him to go outside at all; he hardly ate anything.  I guess I knew it was coming, I just didn't anticipate that it would be this soon.

Papa was my grandmother's second husband, her first, my mother's father, died before I was born.  Although he was not my grandfather by blood, it isn't blood that makes a relationship.  My grandmother says that she was dating him when my mother was pregnant with me and she told him he had to marry her because I was going to need a grandfather.  If you knew my grandmother, you'd know there probably wasn't much point arguing with her.  During my high school years I lived with my grandparents for over two years and we were very close. 

Sometime soon my grandfather will probably leave this earth; his body has been failing him now for quite a while.  I have many good memories though, and I believe that he will have a new life he won't need that body for.  I pray that my grandmother, who suffers from the cruel disease of Alzheimers, will be able to join him and leave behind the prison her mind has become.  Although I'm not really sure how that will work out since she has her first husband too; I'm guessing all that stuff is small potatoes where they are going.

 

Grandma, Papa and Me

A Running Visor Veil and a Happy Wedding

About six weeks ago I was talking to a friend who was helping yet another friend plan her wedding.  This wasn't just any wedding though, it was a wedding for runners, and they wanted to get married at the finish of the Players 5K with Donna.  The bride would wear a running skirt, custom running shirt, running shoes, but what would she wear on her head?  A plain visor?  Let me ask my mom I said, she makes wedding veils although I'm not sure she's ever made one out of a running visor.

Thankfully my mom had a visit planned in the next couple of weeks; she decided a running visor veil would not be hard to make, although the veil length would need to be scaled down.  We selected a visor that was the same model the bride already enjoyed running in, then set off embellishing it.  We used a piece of material you would typically use to embellish a gown, then hand sewed Swarovski crystals and seed pearls onto the material with a bead needle.  I've never done bead work before so my mom had to help me get started on that part.  It is not easy on the eyes, but relieves stress as it's pretty repetitive. 

A veil with a rolled edge was selected and we decided to make it detachable with Velcro, in case the bride wanted to remove the veil from the visor at any point.  Then a decorative applique could Velcro on and cover the blank space where the veil had been if it was removed.  We attached the embellished material to the veil by hand, sewing it on so that it would be sturdy; the Velcro was sewn on with a machine.  Finally, before we could attach the Velcro permanently we had to fit the visor to the bride to be sure we cut the Velcro the right length and adjusted everything to the right size.  Then it was ready to go.

The visor veil was delivered to the beautiful bride and it was worn in her wedding just this past Sunday.  It was a beautiful wedding, with a very happy bride and groom who love to run and love each other. 

Thoughts on Motherhood This Mother's Day

For several years all I could think about was becoming a mother.  UberGeek and I got married almost ten years ago and were married for over five years before we had children.  We had a great life together, traveling, working on projects around the house and enjoying each other's company.  In addition to that, we were madly in love with each other.  Still, I knew I wanted to be a parent and I understood that UberGeek would be a great dad. 

Our struggle to have children seemed like a long one to me.  At the time, I was working as a therapist for children with severe emotional disturbances and their families in a school system.  It seemed every time I turned around someone's adolescent client was getting pregnant, occasionally it was my client.  It appeared that fertility was inversely related to your ability to love and care for a child.  At the time I was not even thirty, but I felt positively ancient next to the fifteen and sixteen year old girls heavy with child everywhere I looked.

Finally, I did get pregnant, and nine complicated and miserable months later I gave birth to two healthy babies.  I remember looking at them, and feeling not a sense of overwhelming love, but rather, a sense of overwhelming relief that the pregnancy was over.  Then they wheeled us into our hospital room alone with two babies who we had absolutely no idea how to take care of.  We had no family in town, no support system and no clue. I was pretty sick physically, having been on bed rest for three months before they were born, and then in labor for sixteen hours to give birth to them.

Two days later it was time for us to leave, I was crying, every piece of clothing we brought with us for the babies was soiled with throw up or poop.  We had already paid the hospital an extra day of room and board because we were terrified to leave. I had nothing that fit to wear home and ended up in a nightgown and slippers. I was thinking, "Please God, how can they be letting us go home with these impossibly tiny babies, we will surely kill them; we don't know what we are doing."  Thankfully my mother purchased a plane ticket and was at the house not long after our brand new minivan pulled into the drive way. 

Several weeks later the sleep deprivation really set in, neither of us ever got more than three or four hours of sleep at any one time.  I had thoughts like, "Why couldn't we have just remained childless, we were having fun." "We are going to get a divorce." "We will never survive this."  "We'll never have fun again."  I talked to other parents of young multiples who assured me all this was normal and that they too had similar thoughts.  They also told us to hang on, assuring us that at 12 weeks our twins would sleep through the night with the exception of one middle of the night feeding.  That was the only thing that kept me slogging on through that seemingly endless series of days and nights.

Finally, our children made it to 12 weeks, and everyone was right, by that time they were sleeping 6PM-6AM and waking between 12P-1A for one feeding.  It was a miracle, but not really, since four of my friends twins and triplets of similar age were doing the same.  UberGeek and I went back to date nights, but they were in our house.  We put our kids down to bed right at 6, had nice dinners together, watched a movie and got lots of rest. 

Fast forward five years and there have been more tough times, the time between the age of two and three and a half I'd say.  Truthfully though, right now is a pretty sweet spot.  The kids are much more independent, they can entertain themselves for up to half an hour sometimes.  It goes without saying that being done with potty training rules.  Watching them read and write is incredible.  At this stage I am thinking there are a lot of really good times to come.  I'm pretty proud of UberGeek and I, so far we've done a good job.  I know that's dangerous to say, Diva could still be looking back at me from some scary man's Harley at a too young age.  Eddie Haskell could lock himself in his room with multi colored hair and freaky music.  Right now though, we're riding high.

Being a parent is amazing, there are so many times I am thankful I was given the opportunity.  Still, it is nothing like what I expected; it's absolutely the hardest thing I have ever done.  No one ever tells you how hard it is when you are trying to get pregnant.  It is the most constant job you will ever do and there is no break.  I guess it's kind of like the Peace Corps, the toughest job you'll ever love.