Social Gracious

The Tubal Ligation Vacation

I am at about that age when birth control pills begin to come with a black box warning.  So, if I take them, reportedly I am at a higher risk of having a clotted leg that will have to be removed, or my head will explode in a ghastly way.  Because of this, UberGeek and I have begun the earnest discussion of what to do in order to prevent the creation of any new Divas or Eddies. 

If things had been just a little different, this all would have been solved when Diva and Eddie were born.  Although I planned for a natural childbirth, I informed my OB that should things not work out, and he had to give me a c-section, he was to go ahead and tie the old tubes in a BIG FAT knot.  He gave me a kind look, the sort he probably gives to all of his crazy, hormone addled, 8 months pregnant with twins patients, and told me, "Kristie, you are so young, let's just wait until the time comes, you might change your mind."  That is when I grabbed him by the collar, pulled him so close to me that he could smell the frozen cream puffs on my breath, and told him that if he didn't do it I would take hold of the sterile tubing and do it myself.  I'm making that part up, actually, but it did happen in my mind. In reality, I just smiled at him and said, "OK, but I am telling you, I do not ever want to be pregnant again."  "There are other options" he replied calmly.

Now my children are five, and although I would like one more child, I am still very sure that I do not want to be pregnant again.  I had enough complications to last for a lifetime the first pregnancy, and I am not willing to roll the dice again; it's not fair to Eddie or Diva.  Recently, I approached UberGeek about making things permanent.  Among his close counterparts, he is one of the "Last of the Mohicans" so to speak, the few unclipped.  Whenever I mention the prospect of a vasectomy, UberGeek's eyes get wide, then I can tell that his mind starts churning, and this is what he comes up with, "I'm not getting one of those, they don't work." 

UberGeek is of course referring to a friend who got a vasectomy from a prominent urologist.  The man has super sperm; this is a couple who can stand too close to each other on a wet floor, then she gets pregnant.  He had the vasectomy; they didn't quite get the final count back, and welcomed a final child to their beautiful family.  He had to get the procedure performed a second time, reportedly this is the only similar case in the surgeon's career.  

We, on the other hand, are not that couple, but it is a good excuse for UberGeek.  After a year of attempting to convince him that a vasectomy would be in everyone's best interest, I told him I would get a tubal ligation.  I have vague memories of people getting them years ago, days were spent recuperating, and so I let UberGeek know that it would be a long recovery.  I had visions of a couple days at the beautiful new Mayo Clinic hospital with a flat screen TV, IV drugs, clean sheets, my own nurse and a lot of magazines.  This would be followed by a couple days of quiet time at home while the kids were off at school. 

Off I went to see my primary care physician, who I have known for ten years.  I told him that UberGeek, who is also his patient, was being stubborn about the vasectomy and that I was thinking of a tubal.  I wanted to know how much of a recovery at Mayo I would get.  He laughed, then said, "Seriously Kristie? We replace portions of people's intestines as an outpatient procedure, you are so not getting any time in the hospital; it's an outpatient procedure." 

Outpatient is a whole different ballgame.  Outpatient means I will return home after something painful and have to slog around trying to keep the house tidy, wash the dishes, answer questions, fold laundry and watch tumbleweeds of animal hair go by.  I won't want to let it all pile up for a couple days while I relax and recover.  UberGeek will be wound tight trying to keep the kids busy; there won't be anyone to wait on me, so I will attempt to do too much too soon.  I know how it will go.  It's much better that he get the vasectomy because I am better equipped to wait on him and the kids all at once; women are better at multitasking, at least in this family.

There will be no tubal ligation vacation, time to pursue other options.

A Fish Story

About a year ago, we bought two fish for the kiddos.  Like all low rent fish who are not cared for by people who have a certain yen for the care of creatures that dwell in aquariums, they eventually died.  The first to succumb was Diva’s fish, who she named Hannahbelle.  I noticed the lady Hannahbelle floating belly up in the little tank late in the evening, and alerted UberGeek to our plight.  Then I grabbed the little green handled scoop and “fished” her out.  We gave the fish an unceremonial flushing and bid her farewell while she circled the drain.  I told UberGeek I would talk to Diva in the morning about the demise of her fish; that’s not his thing. 

In the morning, as I was showering, a terrible thing happened; Diva woke up and noticed the fish was gone.  She approached UberGeek, and he panicked. UberGeek said the first thing that came to his mind, “Hannahbelle went on vacation!  She wanted to see the world like Nemo.”  UberGeek was thinking to himself that he would replace the ill fated Hannahbelle with a similar fish and save his daughter the heartache.  She would never know the difference, right?

Time went by as it does, grocery lists lengthened, laundry loads hummed, until finally over a year had passed.  The lovely Hannahbelle, despite all the good intentions, was never replaced.  Recently, we were out shopping at Wally World picking up some necessities when the kids begged to pass by the pet supplies area.  As we walked past the tanks Diva began to sniffle, “I miss Hannahbelle, she went on vacation a long, long time ago and she never came back. Daddy, where is Hannahbelle?”

Eddie turned to look at his sister with a very serious look on his face, “Diva, that fish is dead and it’s never coming back!  Fish don’t go on vacation.”

I suppose Santa Claus is next.

Touchdown Wishes and Gridiron Dreams

Just the other afternoon UberGeek came wandering toward me where I was working in the office, as he approached I noted a definite twinkle in his eye. "Kristie, do you know what Eddie just told me?" he asked. I didn't. "He said that one day I am going to be watching him on the television!" So you might be wondering, is that because my bright and beautiful boy is aspiring to a career in public service, or journalism perhaps? No, of course not, Eddie is referring to football! The kids don't watch much TV but during football season it's a television marathon each weekend. My son, at five years old, knows many teams by the color of their uniform, calls out plays to UberGeek when he is in another room and is just generally football crazed.  UberGeek has tried to involve Diva similarly, but she generally insists on doing dance moves across the living room during the games. Still, both Diva and Eddie are probably more educated in the ways of football than I am.

When UberGeek thinks of his son playing football he dreams of the two of them tossing around the ol' pigskin in the yard, discussing strategies and watching instant replays together. When I think of my son playing football there are three things that occur to me, spinal cord injury, brain injury (a concussion counts as a brain injury), and disability. "Kristie, he won't be a defensive back, he's not built for it, those are the guys who get spinal cord injuries, they take the hits." Uh, hem, he is five years old, he's not built for anything really in my mind. I do understand that having a child who shares his passion for football is a dream come true, I just wish the dream would remain on the couch or the living room floor with a Nerf ball.

Play That Funky Music White Boy

Tonight after swim lessons UberGeek wanted to take us all out to celebrate my annual review at work.  We were pretty bedraggled overall, so our options were limited and the kiddos were demanding hot dogs. The best ever hot dog spot, Hot Dog Hut, was getting ready to close up for the night so we had to settle for Orange Tree.  Not exactly fine dining but I didn't have to cook. 

On the way home we had to stop and pick up the Subaru.  As we pulled into the parking lot UberGeek noted that the flag at the preschool was still flying.  "Aren't they supposed to take it down each night?" I asked.  "Yeah, that was my job in elementary school, sixth grade" he replied.  "I had to play Taps at night and something else I can't remember in the morning." 

UberGeek's abandonment of his musical talent always saddens me.  I imagine him serenading me with his trumpet and dream of family sing alongs while he plays the piano.  "I haven't played the trumpet in twenty five years, I wouldn't remember how" he says dismissively.  I try a different tack, "What if it injected more passion into our marriage?" I whisper loudly in the minivan idling in the empty preschool parking lot.  "What if it made you more attractive to me?"   "You already find me attractive" comes the reply, with the sarcastic grin I know so well.  I give his parents the utmost credit for imparting in him a healthy sense of self esteem.  "Why can't I convince you to do things you don't want to do anymore?" I aim at him as he begins to ease himself out of the minivan.  By now the kids are laughing and saying, "Play the trumpet daddy, play the trumpet!"  UberGeek just grins at me and I kiss him as he escapes to the waiting getaway car, maybe this is not the end of the discussion.

The Saudi Embassy Chocolate Cake

Not long after college, UberGeek and his friend Hairy Mike landed a gig developing the biometric security system for the Saudi embassy in Washington DC. Neither UberGeek nor Hairy Mike had experience with biometrics or security systems but they were both electrical engineers, newly graduated from college and the company they worked for had the contract. Basically one day their boss came to them and said, "we bid for this contract and we got it, can you guys do this?" Always up to a challenge, they said, "sure, why not." Then they set about reading everything they could about biometrics, security systems and other stuff I am not smart enough to detail in any intelligent manner.

They worked days and nights at the embassy developing the fingerprint security system meant to allow access to the embassy as well as to restrict access to certain areas to only select staff. During the time they worked there they got to know the Saudi staff very well and enjoyed a good relationship with them.  When at the embassy you are pretty much in Saudi Arabia, they follow the customs of their country and UberGeek enjoyed the experience. 

Security was tight at the embassy, ambassador HRH Prince Bandar bin Sultan was sometimes there, as well as other Saudi officials and royalty. One morning, around 10AM, UberGeek could not find Hairy Mike anywhere despite searching for him high and low. Finally he went to the security control room and asked the staff if they had any idea where he was. Security commenced to scanning the numerous cameras in the embassy. They checked everywhere on the fourth floor with no luck. Finally, they checked the cafeteria, where a lone figure sat. The Saudi officer panned in closer, then closer, until finally a blond head came into view, obviously engrossed in the plate before him. It was Hairy Mike with a giant piece of chocolate cake, savoring every bite. Everyone in the control room roared with raucous laughter to see the lost American found, eating his cake.

Hairy Mike is the godfather to our children and he still loves chocolate. He finished the Saudi embassy gig, most recently he was traveling the world determining power load requirements for security systems in US embassies. Making the world a safer place for chocolate cake lovers everywhere.

Lucky and the Diva

Did I mention that I never wanted another cat? I bought a cat in college, when I got my first apartment and my first job. He's a nice enough cat but cats typically pee on things at some point. Our cat did not do this except every once in a while when we neglected his litter box, until we replaced our builder grade, stained and matted carpet with nice new carpet. The last tacking strip had hardly been laid down when off he rushed to a corner to let loose a torrential stream of neutered male cat urine. Male cat urine reeks and it is a terrible job to get out of carpet, I am a witness. That was it, he was a goner. I banished him to the garage, with cat door access to the laundry room, which was tiled. I love him, but I love the carpet, and my kids who roll around on the carpet too. We have been counting the years on this cat, a couple of years ago my veterinarian tried to sell us an expensive teeth cleaning on the aforementioned feline. I looked over my glasses at him and smiled. I have had cats all my life, not a one has ever had even a single tooth cleaned. In my mind, when all their teeth rot and fall out they've probably had a good long life and should call it quits at say, nineteen years of age which is usually how long mine live, without proper dental hygiene even. Maybe that makes me a bad pet owner, I don't know, perhaps teeth cleanings for your cat are standard practice now. I'm not buying it.

So I was happily counting down the years with the banished but relatively happy cat in the laundry room. Until SuperFuzz came along and brought a mama cat and a litter of kittens into our home. That's another story. UberGeek comes from a home that took in strays of all sorts that showed up at his family door step. For a while they had a St. Bernard, Winston, who didn't live long but has a special place in his heart. They had lots of cats, a long parade of golden retrievers, a wippet and all other assortment of pets. If it walked into the yard it was claimed. He has a soft spot for animals so I should not have been surprised when he suggested that we keep two female rescue cats, the mama and one of her kittens. His logic was that each of the kids should have their own cat. So despite our having sworn off cats forever, we seem to have made room in the house and our hearts for two more. If we hadn't this moment never would have happened:

 

Ever since we separated the kids into their own rooms Diva has been a little wary of bedtime, scared of being alone in her little bed and bedroom. Tonight Lucky climbed up next to her and kept her company.

Borrow Bling Blog Week from Adorn Brides!

Ice Ice Kristie

Six months before I met UberGeek I had extricated myself from a long term relationship. It was one of those relationships that just sort of dragged on without any vision for an ending or an evolution. Finally, I decided to take a position that moved me 650 miles South; I told the person I was in the relationship with that he could move here with me if he wished. He didn't wish and off I went. Occasionally when I go home to visit family we meet for a cocktail to reminisce, he remembers that I broke it off with him, in my mind it was his inertia that ended things. I was a little blue about it at the time, my mom was not, she described that boyfriend as too "vanilla", nothing really wrong with him, but nothing too special or just right for me either.

A few months later my mom came to visit me in my new town. I took her shopping down in the chi chi area of Ponte Vedra where we window shopped in great boutiques and lingered over lunch. Finally we ended up in Underwood Jeweler, a fabulous and upscale jewelry store. My mother and I drooled over the sparkly bling laid out in velvet cases. Mom said, "One day, when you meet the right person, this is the type of store he will want to come to to buy your ring when he is ready to marry you." I laughed, since the last person I dated had not wanted to spring for the cheese on my hamburgers. I couldn't imagine anyone buying me anything from such a store.

Fast forward two and a half years, it was New Years Eve and UberGeek and I were at a party at a friends house. He got down on one knee and proposed, diamond solitaire sparkler in hand, the box, which is in my unmentionables drawer now, said Underwood Jeweler. "It's internally flawless, just like you." said UberGeek. Inside I thought, wow, that's a lot to live up to. After I stopped stuttering and said yes, he said something else, "Well, that's it, I'm done with jewelry shopping, I never have to buy another piece of jewelry." I thought he was kidding. Nine years later and true to his word, I have not received so much as a genuine diamelle.

So it is that I look longingly at my friend Nadine's blog on Adorn Brides where people can rent amazing bling for social occasions or weddings. For a modest rental amount you can choose from their absolutely spectacular selection of jewelry. They will mail it to your doorstep, provide you a mailer to return it in, you keep it for a few days, wear it to your wedding or social event, pop it back in the mailer and drop it in the post! I imagine myself, at the next charity event I am invited to, with a little extra sparkle at my neck, a glimmer dangling from my ear. Maybe a sexy bauble draped just so from my wrist. I don't mention this to UberGeek, just cruise the Adorn Brides site from time to time. I figure maybe one day I'll just turn up in a drop dead gorgeous cocktail dress dripping bling and make him think I've cashed in our 401Ks. Better be sure his last Mayo physical went well first. 

I wouldn't dare do this without giving my readers a chance to win their own personal bling borrowing opportunity. You too can shimmer and sparkle even in tight times!  We’ve teamed up with my friend Nadine at Adorn Brides as part of their "Borrow Bling " Blog Week to give one lucky reader the chance to “borrow” a stunning piece of jewelry for a special day! Through Adorn Brides you can rent gorgeous pieces of fine jewelry including earrings, bracelets and coordinating sets made of genuine diamonds and pearls for your wedding or other special events, allowing you to look spectacular while remaining on a budget. The red carpet is not just for celebrities! Adorn Brides has been featured on The View, CBS’s The Early Show, and in The New York Times, Modern Bride (as #1 out of the 50 best web sites to help plan your wedding), Inside Weddings Magazine, Wedding Style Magazine, In Style Weddings.

Here’s how it Works:

1. Browse the Adornbrides.com website

2. Select your favorite piece of jewelry

3. Come back to this blog post and comment on your favorite piece of Adorn Brides jewelry and why you fancy it, get creative. I will announce the winner selected by my non partial guest judge, Dave Strupp, Marketing Communications Coordinator and Tyrant of Technology, in my Monday, March 30 post.

Winner will receive a $150.00 gift card to Adornbrides.com. All others readers: Luckily I have some connections within Adorn Brides, please use this code FLBC2003 and receive a 20% discount towards any fine jewelry rentals from Adorn Brides.

You could borrow me for free! Don't miss the chance to win our contest, see above!

Fired by the Housekeeper

About a month ago I came home to find a Dear John letter, from our housekeeper. After several years of working with us she had decided to no longer clean our home. The letter was filled with gratitude to our family and apologies, also she cited vague references to a need to return to her home country of Thailand at a moment's notice. I was crestfallen, it's hard to find a good housekeeper who is trustworthy and reliable, plus she had become a friend to our family. I suspected our sudden acquisition of two cats as the primary cause of her decision. UberGeek had noticed on his lunch hours home, when he was with the housekeeper and her daughter who acted as her assistant, that the daughter was overcome with uncontrollable sneezing since we acquired our new feline friends. UberGeek was less upset by the exodus of our housekeeper. He pointed to the cobwebs hanging from the ceiling fan and the layer of thick dust coating most of our picture frames and said, "We can probably do a better job ourselves." I began to suck in my lower lip, which was quivering, even if they weren't particularly good at dusting at least I hadn't had to spend the little weekend time I had on my knees scrubbing bathrooms and floors and could instead be with my children. Then UberGeek announced that he would clean the house every other week, just like the housekeeper, all by himself if I didn't want to do it. "It's a recession Kristie, it's in style to do all of these things ourselves." When I stopped laughing and picked myself up off the floor I pointed out that quite often he could not remember that Tuesday was trash day, much less clean an entire household on his own. 

UberGeek has many wonderful qualities, probably more than I do, cleaning or keeping things neat is not one of them. The one area of the house I have given over to him as his domain, the garage, looks as if a second Hiroshima has occurred. Things are everywhere and no surface is clear to the eye. Hazardous and oozing liquids phosphoresce in corners in a sinister manner, just waiting for an animal or small child to ingest. Once, I cleaned and categorized things into clear bins with labels for him but they have once again been overtaken. I am an organized creature, when I was growing up my grandmother taught me that if you take something from it's place you put it back when you're finished and you'll always know where it is. It drives me absolutely batty to need the drill and drill bits and have to head out to the garage to get them. They are never in the same place and all the drill bits are helter skelter everywhere. Usually, I just give up and ask UberGeek to get it for me before I become so angry I can't speak. 

In the unlucky event that it is a particular time of the month and I venture out to the garage, UberGeek is in big trouble. For over a year now, I have been asking that it be cleaned and organized. Several times he has started cleaning it but it has never truly been finished. I avoid a showdown by not venturing into the garage; I park in the driveway so I don't have to see it. Sometimes though, I feel dangerous and it is always at a certain time of the month. Then I poke my head out there and my insides begin to boil seeing the vast wreckage before me. I resolve to end it right then and there and I storm in to confront my husband. I am ready to claw at my skin, pull out my hair and gnash my teeth. If you remember Pee Wee's Big Adventure, I have a transformation similar to Large Marge. I corner him alone in our bedroom, "WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO CLEAN OUT THE GARAGE? YOU PROMISED ME TWO YEARS AGO THAT YOU WOULD CLEAN IT AND I CAN'T EVEN WALK OUT THERE. IT'S LIKE A HAZARDOUS WASTE ZONE, I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING AND IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY. IF YOU DON'T HAVE IT CLEANED UP IN THE NEXT TWO WEEKS I AM GOING TO MOVE INTO A HOTEL!" From UberGeek in a quiet voice, "Is it going to be that time of month soon?" Me, "THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY FREAKIN' PERIOD AND EVERYTHING TO DO WITH THAT TOXIC WASTE DUMP OUT THERE." Ubergeek, "I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment to you." Let me tell you, that it is really unsatisfying to yell at someone who never yells back. It is usually at that point that I slink away into another room to give myself a timeout. So no, I don't necessarily think it's a good idea that he take over the housekeeping. 

Disney Princess Half Marathon

I've been missing for a few days now. I had every intention of keeping up with the blog while I was out of town. Then I discovered that the resort did not have high speed wireless inclusive in our bill. So, I went tech free for a few days. We left Saturday morning and drove down to Orlando, four women with no husbands, no kids and no worries. We made a quick stop for Chic fil A when we were almost to Orlando and I discovered that within my wallet there was no driver's license and no debit card. I had left them in my evening handbag that I had taken with me to the Jay Fund Wine Tasting Gala the night before. This resulted in a frantic call to UberGeek. I was thinking he could fax a copy of my driver's license to the hotel and wire me some money. Instead he offered to drive the two hours down to bring them to me; this is why I married him.

When he arrived with kiddos in tow we had already checked into our hotel, the Caribbean Beach Resort, and had unpacked our tutus, tiaras and other luggage. I found Disney coloring books to surprise the kiddos with for their ride back. UberGeek acted as if it was no sweat to drive two hours there and two back. I was so angry at myself and I know I probably deserved to have him angry with me too, he just isn't that way. It's times like these that all the little annoyances of married life fade away, I really see him for who he is and I know I still deeply love him.  At our wedding, one of the Bible verses was 1 Corinthians 13. Although my husband is not necessarily the most church going person, or the person who reads the most Bible verses in his spare time, I often think that he certainly lives Jesus' message in his heart and with his actions pretty well.

After UberGeek and the kiddos headed home we put on our bathing suits and headed out to the pool to soak up the sun. We had a few hours to enjoy the resort before heading back to our room. When we got there and opened the door I saw a big vase full of flowers on the table with a princess balloon. They were for me from UberGeek and the kiddos, the card read "For our favorite princess." I couldn't have been more touched. UberGeek used to always send me flowers when we were dating and early in our marriage but it's not very often these days, as is probably the case in most marriages approaching the decade mark. They were beautiful and I figured I would not be able to fuss at him, once I got home, for at least a week. That night, we four princesses had dinner at the resort's restaurant and went to bed early to get ready for the race. The clocks changed that night and we had to be on the last race shuttle at 5AM, which meant getting up at 4 in the morning.

On race morning we donned our tutus and tiaras and were looking fabulous. There were four of us, Cinderella, Snow White and Superfuzz who was dressed as Belle, as was I. Cinderella hadn't trained for the race, although she is an experienced runner. Like many princesses she prefers a warm climate and so her training sometimes drops off in the winter. In addition to this she was not feeling well. The rest of us felt OK, except for the ungodly early hour that we were awakened. We arrived at the race site and mulled around for a while in the cold until the start. Cinderella began to feel worse and worse. We had decided that we were running this half marathon just for fun as a group and not for speed. We told Cinderella we would stick with her and all finish together. Gate River Run is next weekend so none of us wanted to run fast and be injured anyhow.

The race began and it was so dark and crowded that we did not even hear the gun go off. Superfuzz  had forgotten to enter her most recent race time when she registered so we were in the last corral with all the walkers and slowest runners. We spent the first part of the race weaving in and out of walkers and very slow joggers. This is exhausting and can add a lot of distance onto your race. By the time we made it to the Magic Kingdom Cinderella was in need of a quick pit stop so we had our first photo opportunity. After that, we realized that this would be a very slow race. There were so many characters we wanted pictures with, or attractions we wanted to stop and see. We decided right then we would not stress about our time at all. It definitely wasn't a race to attempt a PR in unless you get in Corral A and wear blinders with no interest in getting great pictures to share with your family.

When we hit mile 9 or so Cinderella really felt ill and we kept trying to keep her spirits up. It was amazing she did as well as she did. She confessed to us that she had not run more than three miles since soon after Christmas. Cinderella and UberGeek must have the same running coach since he ran his last half marathon with a similar training plan, one week before his race he did one long run and then ran a half marathon. He had an injury that plagued him but was determined to run the race so he just rested it until right before the race. I personally would die if I attempted such a thing. Maybe it is their height?

We finally finished the race in a time none of us will ever brag about or share with anyone but we had a really good time. I have never been in a race where I stopped, then waited in line to take my picture with a character. "Oh wait," we would say, "my daughter loves Tinkerbell, we have to take a photo with her, let's stop here."Or, "look there's the castle, let's get one right here!" After the race we headed back to the resort for some much needed R&R at the pool and lots of water. Then we all took naps, showers and had a frozen drink at the cabana bar before heading to dinner and the after party at Disney's Hollywood Studios.

We arrived and got to walk across the red carpet at Hollywood Studios like real princesses. Then we went to ride the Rock n Roller Coaster once before our reservations at the Brown Derby Restaurant. What a fast ride; we loved it! After a wonderful dinner we finished out the night by riding the Rock N Roller Coaster and Tower of Terror five times each. Finally we started winding down and finished our evening by watching the Fantasmic show. I typically am not a show person but Snow White recommended it and she knows Disney, so I took her recommendation. I'm glad because it was great! We took the shuttle back to the resort after the the show and all fell asleep as soon as our heads hit the pillows. The next morning we had a fantastic and entertaining breakfast at the Wilderness Lodge on our way out, again, Snow White's recommendation, and then it was back to reality. 

When I got home, two little people ran out to the driveway to welcome me. It was good to get away and it was good to be home.

Quarantined

 

UberGeek definitely has the real, true, shivering, shaking, high fever, sweating and chills flu. I spent the night in the spare bedroom far away from his germs but with the cell phone right next to me in case he needed me. He had his with him too of course, the high tech equivalent of a bell. When I woke up at 5:45 I immediately texted my boss to let her know that I probably would be a few minutes late. Getting myself and two four year olds dressed, fed and out the door and to preschool alone, plus trying to make sure UberGeek had a cooler packed with Gatorade and a roll of Ritz crackers, changes of clothes for his sweating fits and all other manner of things he might need meant a long process.

There was no possibility to take the day off as I don't have enough leave to stay home with my kids when they are sick, much less my husband; welcome to America. Employers are so squeezed with trying to pay for healthcare there is little leftover for niceties like a leave plan that actually allows you or a family member to be sick. I am very thankful that my husband's employer can somehow afford a  generous leave plan and he is able to stay home when our kids are sick. It does pain me that the kiddos no longer call for me when they are ill; I am not the one who stays home with them anymore as I do not have a single leftover leave day. Thank goodness that I personally am very rarely sick. Despite this, we are taking no chances as I cannot afford to get this flu. UberGeek wears a paper mask over his mouth and nose most of the time and all surfaces are disinfected with hospital grade cleanser. The children have no contact with UberGeek at all at this point and won't until he is 24 hours past his fever. It's extreme but necessary, we simply can't afford for this to spread. Even with all our precautions we know we might not be successful.

Almost worse than the work week this would be an awful weekend for me to get sick. I am supposed to go out of town with three girlfriends to run the Disney Princess Half Marathon in Orlando, Florida. We have been planning it as a ladies getaway for about six months now and I'll be devastated if I miss it. The four of us have purchased coordinating princess tutus and tiaras and I am running the race in a yellow Belle tutu, Belle tiara and matching running singlet. Not to mention we will be staying in a Disney Resort hotel with no kids, no husbands and no worries. It's really a dream come true for the four of us. Considering the week I'm having, my hopes are hanging on this pouf of yellow tulle. Just one influenza germ could throw a wrench in my plans.

Today I came home at lunch to change UberGeek's sweaty sheets and put on the clean mattress pad, new pillows and pillow covers I had purchased at Walmart on the way there. I made him   some Ramen noodles, the best food for illness as everyone knows, and refilled his Gatorade supply. I threw all the dirty linens in the washing machine on hot and then washed my hands, again. He began telling me what a great wife I am and how he is going to make it up to me when he gets better. As if I was going to leave him sick, alone in his misery and to fend for himself when he is down and out. I think he fears that when things get really tough like this I just might crack, but I don't and I won't. I just straighten up my tiara, keep calm and carry on.