Social Gracious

The Tubal Ligation Vacation

I am at about that age when birth control pills begin to come with a black box warning.  So, if I take them, reportedly I am at a higher risk of having a clotted leg that will have to be removed, or my head will explode in a ghastly way.  Because of this, UberGeek and I have begun the earnest discussion of what to do in order to prevent the creation of any new Divas or Eddies. 

If things had been just a little different, this all would have been solved when Diva and Eddie were born.  Although I planned for a natural childbirth, I informed my OB that should things not work out, and he had to give me a c-section, he was to go ahead and tie the old tubes in a BIG FAT knot.  He gave me a kind look, the sort he probably gives to all of his crazy, hormone addled, 8 months pregnant with twins patients, and told me, "Kristie, you are so young, let's just wait until the time comes, you might change your mind."  That is when I grabbed him by the collar, pulled him so close to me that he could smell the frozen cream puffs on my breath, and told him that if he didn't do it I would take hold of the sterile tubing and do it myself.  I'm making that part up, actually, but it did happen in my mind. In reality, I just smiled at him and said, "OK, but I am telling you, I do not ever want to be pregnant again."  "There are other options" he replied calmly.

Now my children are five, and although I would like one more child, I am still very sure that I do not want to be pregnant again.  I had enough complications to last for a lifetime the first pregnancy, and I am not willing to roll the dice again; it's not fair to Eddie or Diva.  Recently, I approached UberGeek about making things permanent.  Among his close counterparts, he is one of the "Last of the Mohicans" so to speak, the few unclipped.  Whenever I mention the prospect of a vasectomy, UberGeek's eyes get wide, then I can tell that his mind starts churning, and this is what he comes up with, "I'm not getting one of those, they don't work." 

UberGeek is of course referring to a friend who got a vasectomy from a prominent urologist.  The man has super sperm; this is a couple who can stand too close to each other on a wet floor, then she gets pregnant.  He had the vasectomy; they didn't quite get the final count back, and welcomed a final child to their beautiful family.  He had to get the procedure performed a second time, reportedly this is the only similar case in the surgeon's career.  

We, on the other hand, are not that couple, but it is a good excuse for UberGeek.  After a year of attempting to convince him that a vasectomy would be in everyone's best interest, I told him I would get a tubal ligation.  I have vague memories of people getting them years ago, days were spent recuperating, and so I let UberGeek know that it would be a long recovery.  I had visions of a couple days at the beautiful new Mayo Clinic hospital with a flat screen TV, IV drugs, clean sheets, my own nurse and a lot of magazines.  This would be followed by a couple days of quiet time at home while the kids were off at school. 

Off I went to see my primary care physician, who I have known for ten years.  I told him that UberGeek, who is also his patient, was being stubborn about the vasectomy and that I was thinking of a tubal.  I wanted to know how much of a recovery at Mayo I would get.  He laughed, then said, "Seriously Kristie? We replace portions of people's intestines as an outpatient procedure, you are so not getting any time in the hospital; it's an outpatient procedure." 

Outpatient is a whole different ballgame.  Outpatient means I will return home after something painful and have to slog around trying to keep the house tidy, wash the dishes, answer questions, fold laundry and watch tumbleweeds of animal hair go by.  I won't want to let it all pile up for a couple days while I relax and recover.  UberGeek will be wound tight trying to keep the kids busy; there won't be anyone to wait on me, so I will attempt to do too much too soon.  I know how it will go.  It's much better that he get the vasectomy because I am better equipped to wait on him and the kids all at once; women are better at multitasking, at least in this family.

There will be no tubal ligation vacation, time to pursue other options.

The Saudi Embassy Chocolate Cake

Not long after college, UberGeek and his friend Hairy Mike landed a gig developing the biometric security system for the Saudi embassy in Washington DC. Neither UberGeek nor Hairy Mike had experience with biometrics or security systems but they were both electrical engineers, newly graduated from college and the company they worked for had the contract. Basically one day their boss came to them and said, "we bid for this contract and we got it, can you guys do this?" Always up to a challenge, they said, "sure, why not." Then they set about reading everything they could about biometrics, security systems and other stuff I am not smart enough to detail in any intelligent manner.

They worked days and nights at the embassy developing the fingerprint security system meant to allow access to the embassy as well as to restrict access to certain areas to only select staff. During the time they worked there they got to know the Saudi staff very well and enjoyed a good relationship with them.  When at the embassy you are pretty much in Saudi Arabia, they follow the customs of their country and UberGeek enjoyed the experience. 

Security was tight at the embassy, ambassador HRH Prince Bandar bin Sultan was sometimes there, as well as other Saudi officials and royalty. One morning, around 10AM, UberGeek could not find Hairy Mike anywhere despite searching for him high and low. Finally he went to the security control room and asked the staff if they had any idea where he was. Security commenced to scanning the numerous cameras in the embassy. They checked everywhere on the fourth floor with no luck. Finally, they checked the cafeteria, where a lone figure sat. The Saudi officer panned in closer, then closer, until finally a blond head came into view, obviously engrossed in the plate before him. It was Hairy Mike with a giant piece of chocolate cake, savoring every bite. Everyone in the control room roared with raucous laughter to see the lost American found, eating his cake.

Hairy Mike is the godfather to our children and he still loves chocolate. He finished the Saudi embassy gig, most recently he was traveling the world determining power load requirements for security systems in US embassies. Making the world a safer place for chocolate cake lovers everywhere.

Office Space Movie Night

We got rid of cable about a month ago. By get rid of cable I don't mean that we switched to dish or DirectTV, I mean we completely got rid of any TV service. We hardly watch TV anyhow and most of what we watch is available online. The kids have adjusted easily, we take them to the library to check out books or DVDs and they really only watched PBS anyhow. We do hear occasional wistful remembrances about watching Olivia on demand but that is the extent of their complaints.

Tonight UberGeek and I broke out one of the two most excellent movies of all time, Office Space. Having spent the last few nights in quiet, working on various projects, reading or doing housework we needed a break. It is one of two movies we watch over and over again. The other is Parenthood. Office Space is a cult classic and I am such a dork that I eat up its blatant satire of the modern workplace. My cubicle has an "Is This Good for the Company" poster tacked up and I own an Initech mug. The irony of the poster isn't obvious unless you've seen the movie. I wonder how many of my colleagues think I'm a total loser for hanging up a poster that reminds me to think about whether my decisions are "good for the company?" If I could find a red Swingline I'd own one of those too. Most geeks know about Office Space, it's an anthem of sorts. I think that at some time in our lives we've all felt the quiet desperation of office life. Born to be social and active human beings we are confined together in a maze of tiny cubicles, separated by sort of walls and illuminated by dim flourescence. We are forced to sit all day in front of a tiny flickering screen that is supposed to give meaning to the nine plus hours stretching out in front of us.  

I am very thankful that I work for a good company that does great things throughout the community. Still, after hours alone in front of my computer screen I sometimes have a tremendous urge to jump up and down and yell something really loud then run down the hallway. I contain myself but I am always fearful that one day all that caged up energy and lack of actual human contact will result in some sort of bubbling over. That is one thing I miss since I made the switch from working in clinical practice to technology, regular human contact. The pent up energy is easily taken care of with a run before or after work but the need for interaction remains. I wonder if I am the only one who finds it hard to act like an adult all the time when there are so many times I am overwhelmed by the urge to just stand up and jump?

 

IT vs. Everyone Else

Today I friended someone on Facebook and as soon as I went to their page this is the first thing I noticed:

 

I had to watch it and I started coughing I was laughing so hard. It's really what gives IT a bad name. I work very closely with our help desk staff in my position. They are very dedicated and have the patience of Job. I have no idea how they do it but they can remain calm even when trying to teach someone the difference between right clicking and left clicking a mouse. Sometimes this might take a half hour by phone. The subject in this video is of course, quite unprofessional but I think he represents what people imagine when they call their help desk. Some geeky young upstart who was happily playing computer games until your inconvenient call. It couldn't be farther from the truth in our case. Both techs at our company are women, both are patient, kind, competent and knowledgeable. They do enjoy the occasional practical joke and cubicle high jinx but overall they are consummate professionals.

There is also the notion that IT folk are condescending to non techies. This is probably somewhat true. If you call in to report that your Internet is missing from your computer and we discover the problem is that your PC is turned off, there is probably going to be a little chuckling in cubicle world when you hang up the phone. Overall though, most of us aim to spread our knowledge and passion for all things geek to others. It's true some of our heroes might not be the same as yours, case in point:

It's true that we might get all hot and bothered by things you could care less about, most of which have acronyms. Essentially though, we want the same things you do, happy home lives, enjoyable work, people who care about us and people to care about.

Social Media Club Jacksonville

First Meeting of the Social Media Club of Jacksonville

Tonight I attended the first open meeting of the Social Media Club's Jacksonville division. I thought it would be quite a turn out as the first Social Media Seminar held in Jax was well attended with people from many different industries. Due to quite a few last minute cancellations, and maybe the lack of a sexy venue (held in the library), only three of us and the organizer were in attendance. So, of course, we were the very best three members of the Social Media Club of Jacksonville. I wonder if we will get to be called founding members?

It was still a lot of fun to hear from the organization's founder, Kristie Wells via Skype, about the purpose of the organization, it's values and mission. She shared the resources the national club would provide as well as their experiences starting the organization. It was really interesting to gain her perspective. 

From the national Social Media Club's website:

Social Media Club is being organized for the purpose of sharing best practices, establishing ethics and standards, and promoting media literacy around the emerging area of Social Media. This is the beginning of a global conversation about building an organization and a community where the many diverse groups of people who care about social media can come together to discover, connect, share, and learn.

I really enjoy social media as a way to connect with other people and engage in conversation about topics relevant to my life, profession and interests. I think that is the key, it has to be a conversation, two way, providing value to me, and to those I engage with. If you are in it just to sell a product, or your company, it is not going to work and people smell a rat. That is why I am excited that Social Media Club of Jacksonville is looking to engage professionals in all areas, in a conversation about social media best practices and guidelines. I'm looking forward to our next meeting.

From Mumbai with Luv

 

A little over a month ago I initiated a support call with Microsoft. Having exhausted all our in house ideas to solve the problem we were experiencing, we reluctantly dialed in for assistance. Come to find out it was a Microsoft known issue, without a current fix. This resulted in multiple calls over several weeks. Because of the ongoing nature of the problem I got to know our Microsoft support contact's voice pretty well, and also her name, Nidhi. At one point I asked her where she was located, wondering if the support center was in the US or abroad. She answered that it was in India, Mumbai to be exact.  Over the course of the next few weeks we would occasionally exchange small talk while we waited for other members of her team or my team to join us on conference calls. Eventually, Microsoft determined a work around that was satisfactory to our team and solved our issue. Nidhi asked to give it a couple days to be sure all was well and then she reported that she would close out our ticket.

Finally Nidhi emailed me ask if she could close out our service ticket. I replied that recently one of our staff members had started a blog on our intranet using MOSS/Sharepoint, and although this had nothing to do with our original issue, I wanted to know if I could ask her a quick question   about it. She agreed and we set up a time to chat. It turned out to be a simple issue and she was able to quickly tell me how to fix it, although she admitted that she was not too keen a blogger. I told her that I myself had recently started a blog and she shared that she too had a blog outside of work. I told her I would email her a link to mine and asked if she could send me one to hers.

Sometime later I went to visit Nidhi's site, the primary blog, Nidhi's Blog, is about Sharepoint, but she also has a personal blog. Her personal blog hadn't been updated for a while but the post, Stomach Teaches Them All, was so poignant. The pictures of Nidhi were beautiful. It's hard to picture the person answering your support calls thousands of miles away, but if people pictured Nidhi they'd probably be less grouchy about calling India for support. I love to learn about different cultures and places in the world, so it was fascinating for me to read Nidhi's blog. As Americans, I think we forget what we bring to other countries when we outsource. Although we mourn the jobs we lose here, it makes me happy to think of the standard of living we help improve for other human beings around the globe. Nidhi told me in an email how she tries to shop for goods made by local people with her paycheck to help invest in the local economy.

Nidhi and I have corresponded a few more times since my support ticket closed. Then recently she left a comment here on the blog, asking me to take a look at something when I had a minute.  I clicked on the link she included; it took me to her personal blog,The water splash where she had written a post about me. Nidhi had been reading my blog and felt inspired to write more often in her own. You never know how you will be connected to the people in the world around you, or how you will be inspired by them. Back at you Nidhi, and much love to Mumbai!

 
Chowpati

I'm Becoming One of Them; I'm Not Sure I Like It

    
Geek in a Bubble

Recently I decided to develop a web form to help my clients gather their thoughts about what type of content they want on their websites. Really it's more than that, it asks them to consider how they want to store content, who will maintain the site, how they will be trained on the site and some other considerations. When I was developing the form it seemed pretty self explanatory to me. I looked it over again for grammatical errors then sent it off to my manager to take a gander at.  A reply came back some time later that the form might be a little intimidating for our users, my clients.  I mulled that over in my head for a minute, then I looked at the form again.  I needed to dial a lifeline, so I called Web Warrior Princess, a good liaison between the techie world and the world of normal people.  She does a good job of straddling the two, in attractive gladiator sandals, no less.

Princess received my form via email and I heard a polite silence at the other end, then came the suggestions, a number of them regarding the need to make the form less filled with technical jargon and obtuse geeky verbage.  Rereading my form with her I started thinking about my own journey from Family Therapist and teacher to Geek.  Just a few short years ago I didn't have any idea how to navigate the multitude of acronyms in the world of web content design and development and social media.  Now I am immersed in it, apparently to the point that I have forgotten how normal people communicate.  

I never think of myself as technical, part of the reason for this is that I always compare myself to more technical people, especially the one I live with.  I do content development, HTML, java script, web 2.0 stuff, some scripting, training, writing, graphics; I call this soft techie stuff.  UberGeek is hardcore, he developed a fingerprint ID system to control access to a restricted area of the Saudi Arabian embassy just after graduating from college.  He then went on to design, together with his geek partner in crime, De-Wek, a single sign on product used by several of the most renowned health care systems in the country.  This product won an award from the Microsoft Healthcare Users Group.  As if that's not enough, he single handedly designed a clinical imaging system to interface with Cerner's Millenium EMR as his current company was not happy with any of the products available to them on the market.  So, seriously, I don't feel that technical.  

 

If I get to feeling too big for my britches, I only have to cruise UberGeek's brother's profile on LinkedIn.  He is a software developer too and a data warehousing expert.  A few years ago, in his spare time, he developed a mobile device application that became so popular that Compaq bought it and included it as standard software on all their PocketPCs.  Umm, yeah, I don't feel that smart most of the time.  Probably the company I keep.  I continue to get geekier but I'm still small potatoes. 

When I was thinking about whether to apply for my current position, I was wondering if I would be technical enough for it.  UberGeek looked at me, the way Obama looked at Hillary at that famous moment during the campaign trail, and he said, "You're technical enough."  I think what I have to remember is that there is value in being able to straddle the world between geek and normal.  As I inch closer to geekiness I need people like Web Warrior Princess to pull me back from the precipice.  I like technology, but I like people more.  Social Media and Web 2.0 participatory features have no value if we lose their ultimate purpose, to connect us as flesh and blood human beings.  

Senior Citizens 2.0, A Cautionary Tale

My father in law never used a computer during his career despite being a Director at a large railroad corporation up through the early 1990's.  We have always assumed that perhaps his administrative staff took care of typing documents and other computer based tasks.  It wasn't until he retired that he began to harness technology to do his bidding, boy did he catch up fast.  Since I have known them my in laws have been pretty up to the minute with the latest technology so I have a hard time imagining the days before Granddad used a PC.  

In general their use of technology is a boon to us, they have easily navigated the world of email, photosharing and the internet.  They are perplexed when other seniors don't see the benefit of current technology.  They use GPS, take digital pictures, travel with a laptop and each have a cell phone.  They don't text but I'm betting that's next.  Despite loving gadgets ourselves we often have trouble finding them gifts for a special occasion since they are usually one step ahead of us.  For seventy somethings they are really cutting edge.

This occasionally has a few drawbacks.  UberGeek and his older brother are often called upon to tend to their parents technology.  UberGeek happily performs various upgrades, troubleshoots the wireless network and otherwise provides technical support.  He never complains, proud of his parents technical savvy.  

Recently I suggested that Granddad and Granny add Facebook to their list of technical accomplishments.  Stepping it up to the Web 2.0.  They had an upcoming European tour to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary and we thought it would be fun to track their trip online.  Also, it makes it easy and fast to share pictures among family members.  I didn't really anticipate any adverse consequences.  I helped them get their FB page up, showed them the ropes and they were on their way.  

A friend of mine, Web Warrior Princess, started a social club together with a friend, about five years ago.  The intent was to get more young professionals interested in charitable giving to worthy causes. The way she went about this was genius, she called the club the Thursday Night Drinking Club (THNDC).  For a small fee people show up at local venues, receive tickets for a free drink or two and the money raised is donated to many local charities.  Who wouldn't want to go?  A couple weeks ago Warrior sent me an invite to one of their events via Facebook.  I accepted and the information was posted on my Facebook Wall, I'm always up for charitable events that cost less than $100 a plate and this happened to the be the fifth anniversary party for the THNDC.

 

Not long after this post I received an email from Granddad stating that he was notified via Facebook that I had joined a drinking club and he wanted to make sure that I would not be drinking and driving.  I reassured him that it was in fact a charitable organization with a little alcohol on the side and that I don't drink and drive.  Typically I force UberGeek to be the designated driver if I plan to indulge.    I soon received another email stating that my father in law had Googled the Thursday Night Drinking Club and it appeared to him as if it was more alcohol and less charity.  I responded that at least they call a spade a spade instead of pretending to be a social club that is, in fact,  just an excuse for a bunch of people drinking together anyhow.  No response.  

I love my father in law dearly, he and my mother in law did a fabulous job of raising their children.  Of course, I married the very best one.  The fact that UberGeek is such a great father and husband is testament to the power of their love for him and each other.  My father in law is notorious for his debating powers and has very strong opinions.  Before we had children I loved to engage in debates with him.  My husband does not engage, having been his son for forty years he has learned his lesson.  I was fresh meat and I come from a family that enjoys debate among its members.  For ten years now Granddad and I have enjoyed a back and forth of this type.  I like to think that I am providing a service that both of us enjoy.  Unfortunately my vim and vigor has been tempered by exhaustion since having my two children and I am not able to keep up quite as assertive a debate.  Granddad also is occasionally cautioned by his better half when we really get into it to be careful of his blood pressure.

So it was that I headed out this past Thursday night to the fifth anniversary of the Thursday Night Drinking Club.  I had a great time with UberGeek, friends and a couple colleagues who were in attendance.  The band was great, the cause was worthy and I enjoyed my wine.  I just had to keep quiet about it the next day in the world of 2.0.  Please, no one show Granny and Granddad how to use Twitter.  

The Social Butterfly and The Geek, A Love Story

The fact that UberGeek and I met at all was only due to the fact that both of us did something that was totally against our natural sensibilities.  It was 1998 and I had transferred to Northeast Florida from Virginia as a professional headhunter for a good sized Information Technology company.  When I arrived at my new office I was the only unmarried and unattached person.  It seemed to me that I had moved to a foreign land where I suddenly morphed into an old maid.  Thankfully I did make some new friends and kept myself pretty busy.   What I didn't have were successful dates, it seemed that most of the people I was introduced to I had little in common with.  After six months or so of this bleak dating landscape I was ready to throw in the towel.

One day I was cruising the local online version of the newspaper since I had bothered our Director to place an ad online rather than in print.  This was during the time that sites like Dice.com and Monster began to eclipse traditional paper media ads.   Still, many local professionals viewed the online version of the help wanteds and we placed a bubble ad at the top of the newspaper site driving people to our website.  While hunting through the site I noticed that they had an online dating section, kind of like a low budget beta version of Match.com.  My friend Candid, who had wandered into my office was joking with me and saying that we should put in some of my really picky criteria for a mate and see if any single male listed met them.  The only problem was that I had to put in an initial profile  for myself in order to look at any of the other listings.  I did, then I put in all my picky criteria for a mate, just as an experiment.  College degree, non-smoker, no kids, between 25-30 years old, I might have even specified a height range but I honestly can't remember.  I like tall, less than 5'10" need not apply, which is funny since I am really short.  My suspicion is that it's a Darwin kind of thing, I have a biological need to give my offspring the best chance for life at a normal height. 

Then I hit enter.  My search returned a lone result.  I stared at it in shock for a long time, then I went back to work.   It was a few days before I returned to that search but the lure of that lone result was strong.  I really wanted to know who met my criteria.  Finally my curiosity got the best of me and I sent a message to the result.  I heard back from the result via email after a few days and when I learned his occupation I thought, mmm, maybe not.  He was a software developer, not my cup of tea, I'm a people person.  It was fine for me to make an income finding techies jobs but I didn't necessarily want one in my house.  So I asked the defining question, the one that would give him a chance or wipe him off the slate.  "Are you a Client Server developer or a mainframe programmer?"  If you are not a geek this won't mean much to you.  I was an IT recruiter and it meant everything.  Mainframers conjure up mental images of Milton and his red stapler or Quasimodo at a keyboard.  Unfortunately, as a high tech recruiter this stereotype was often fulfilled when candidates walked into my office for the first interview.  Client server guys definitely tended to be cooler, hotter and younger.  Web developers even more so.  I was not going out with a mainframer, no way.

Client Server came the reply.  Game on.  After an email repartee that went on for a few weeks we agreed to meet.  I received many dire warnings from friends and office mates that Client Server boy might come to the date bearing an axe and wearing a hockey mask so we agreed to meet at a very busy restaurant near the beach.  I asked Client Server boy to describe himself so that I could recognize him at the restaurant.  He said that he had been told that he resembles George Hamilton without the tan.  I had no idea who this was and had to look it up.  When I arrived at the restaurant I saw a man resembling the picture I had pulled up of George on the internet, true enough, without the tan.  He was easy on the eyes and although his outfit was a little too Britches Great Outdoors for my taste I figured that could always be modified. 

When we started chatting over a beer and an appetizer it was like finally finding an old friend in a foreign land.  Come to find out, our dads went to the same college, Virginia Tech, were both engineers and used to have offices in Old Town Alexandria, VA just blocks from each other.  We were also born in the same hospital and grew up in Northern Virginia just outside of DC.  The more we chatted the more things we discovered we had in common.  His parents had retired to the same tiny town in the Northern Neck of Virginia where my grandparents and my family in general has resided since before the Revolutionary War.  To top it off, we also have the same favorite food and favorite ice cream.  I know, it's creepy almost. 

Client Server boy had been urged to put his information on the same site where I'd found him by an old friend.  She had been talking with him about how difficult it was for him to meet people since he had been traveling for his job so much and was primarily working in a strange town where he didn't know anyone.  Flying back and forth to different health care facilities across the country is not conducive to having a robust social or dating life.  She finally convinced Client Server boy, despite a strong initial hesitation, to try out the new medium called online dating.  I was the only person he ever met that way.  Two years later, she was one of our bridesmaids.  As you can guess, Client Server boy became my UberGeek. 

A Trained Monkey Could Do It

One of the perils of having a very smart husband with an engineer's mind is that it sometimes leaves me feeling slightly inadequate.  I often want to learn a new tech skill from UberGeek but he does not suffer fools (like myself) kindly.  Usually he ends up giving me a sigh and then pleading with me to just do it himself.  Our minds don't really work in the same way, I read novels, fiction, literature, biographies, anything I can get my hands on.  UberGeek only reads texts, technical manuals, articles colleagues are considering for publication, trade magazines and peer reviewed journals.  There are a couple exceptions, he has read the Autobiography of Tom Landry, Good to Great and Salman Rushdie's Satanic Verses.  While I am always thinking of how things are related, he looks at all issues he encounters as problems to be solved. 

Up until this past August my husband and I worked for the same company.  He researches and develops new technology and I trained software and provided technical documentation among other duties.  Anyhow, at one point my coworkers and I learned we would be getting the opportunity to also be involved in some software testing.  This was something I had not done before and I was really looking forward to learning something new.  This was about the time that someone from another local healthcare company contacted me through LinkedIn to find out if I would be interested in a new position they were creating.  It sounded like a great opportunity but I was disappointed that I would not have the opportunity to learn the software testing process at my current company before I left.   One evening I mentioned this to UberGeek as we lounged on the couch with the kiddos safely in bed.  "Software testing," he guffawed, "a trained monkey could do that!"  "But," I insisted, "I wanted to learn it before I left Company A!"  This resulted in a promise that I could test one of his various leftover software products in our house for "fun" in my spare time.  Joy.

This was not the first or last time I have heard the trained monkey comment.  Monkeys in my husband's estimation are capable of quite a large number of IT functions.  Once I interviewed for a position that required Visio, a software I hadn't really ever used in any of my jobs.  I mentioned this to my husband and received one of his disappointed looks, "Visio, a trained monkey could use Visio, I can show you how to use it in five minutes, you can use Word can't you?" 

I feel some satisfaction in the fact that in one area I am technologically superior to UberGeek.  That area is social media!  UberGeek had no interest in Facebook until he saw how much fun I was having with it.  Then he began pressuring me to add him to my Facebook as a joint account.  I finally offered to create a page for him and he was up and running.  He also does not text, belonging to the 80s generation for whom phones are supposed to ring.  I am trying to teach him, after all, a trained monkey could do it.